My Near Death Experiences
Ten years later, through these following experiences, I gained even more understanding. I KNOW that I walk and live, vibrate and radiate the energies of another place, another dimension, that is so close, so much a part of this physical world and yet for some so very far away. Because I have been "there" and returned, my physical body, everything about me in this world, is different.
I cannot say if everyone that has a NDE experiences this knowing. For I feel that everyone's experience will be different, which speaks to me of the vastness of God. For we are, each one of us, in truth, the light of God. And God is experiencing itself through our lives. Through every choice we make, every thought we think and every action, we manifest Creator and Creation.
Just simply Be-ing is the secret. It's really not complicated. It doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it, just consciously know that within every second, you are Be-ing the Light and Love that is God.
In October of 2003, I experienced 3 separate episodes of having no heartbeat. Each one lasted a different amount of time and I don't know what the actual time amounts were.
The second and longest episode, I was at home, cleaning the bathroom. Suddenly I heard a loud buzzing and then the next thing I was aware of, I was on the floor, completely disoriented as to where I was, who I was and what had happened. I was very short of breath and had a headache.
The next day I went into the heart doctors office to get hooked up to a special monitor. When and if I passed out again, it would be recorded and the doctor would know what was happening. 2 days later, I had another shorter episode that was recorded by the monitor. I called in to the heart monitoring office, to download the recording. As I listened to the recording, I heard no heart beat for a while, and wondered why I heard no sound, when the technician said to me "Christine, your heart totally stopped!" I was stunned.
She called my heart doctor, faxed him a copy of the recording, called the ambulance and off I went to the hospital to have a pacemaker inserted either that night or the next day which was a Saturday. I was in such disbelief that I was objecting to the ambulance, insisting I could drive!
My heart doctor met me in the emergency room and he was shocked as well. The pacemaker insertion went fine the next day and home I went the day after that.
The day after I was home, I cried all day, certainly from the shock of what had happened, but much more than that.. I KNEW that I had been somewhere wonderful and I wanted to go back. I had no conscious recall at that point…...I just KNEW. And remembering the previous experience, I clearly recognized what I already KNEW.
I prayed that if it were in my highest good, I would really like to recall what had happened. And about 6 months later, I recalled what had happened, the second time, and the longest time.
It happened in the sleeping dreamtime.
I found myself in a place or state of being and I knew I was 'Dead', or had totally left the body. I felt completely different and knew that this was not a dream. I looked around me and saw houses and streets, all with a glow of light that I recognized. The houses changed shape as I really looked at them and they were a blending of all the houses I had ever lived in, here in Connecticut, as well as Colorado and Arizona. I moved towards them and I realized that I was moving by intention only and I got from one place to another very rapidly. The sky was a wonderful blue and there were many trees and flowering bushes. It was more than beautiful..it was serene and peaceful. Just as I was playing with moving along the street once again, I heard or felt my name being called.
I turned to my right and saw what I knew was a car..although it didn’t have any clear shape or definition..It was as if I sensed that the energy I was seeing was relaying to me the identity of a car, as I knew them on earth. There was a young man with blond hair driving and he called to me once more and motioned for me to come to the car. I did, without hesitation, for I knew I was safe and that I knew him.
Suddenly, without going anywhere in terms of walking, or movement, or getting there, I was in the "car" and we had now "driven". We were then in front of a house and then I was entering the house through a back door. I saw a kitchen table and on the table were 2 things. A huge cake, with the words Welcome Home on it and I knew the cake was my favorite flavor-white cake with white frosting. The other item was a large book that had golden edges on the pages. There was no title, at least that I could see.
I sensed others were in this house and before I finished having that awareness, my dearest Uncle appeared before me, radiant and beautiful and smiling. He had made his transition in 1993. We embraced and I was hugging him---not the body I once knew, but the energy that was him. His form, his face, all, was semi-transparent and yet very visible with the same glow that everything seemed to have, to one degree or another. We didn’t speak, but the love we exchanged was palpable. He then stepped or moved aside and behind him was my mother..his sister. She had transitioned in 1991, 2 years before her brother and 3 years after my father.
My heart surged with love for her and we embraced. She was radiant, and looked so young and beautiful. I knew she was happy, happier than I know she had been in this world and I was so happy to KNOW this. She communicated only love to me. I FELT who they truly were, without the identity of what our relationship had been while we were together in the physical. I instantly knew the parts we all play in each other's life and how exquisite the Dance is.
They left the room suddenly and I sat down at the table, digesting everything. There is a sensing and experiencing of self in this place that is so different than this physical world. I KNEW that this was simply a way-station, a landing place and I would only be there a short time to get used to where I was, and would then be moving on.
I heard or felt sounds of joy from another room and I got up, or arrived at the doorway simply because I intended to be there and looked into the room. I saw many people, some of which I recognized. I saw the back of my father's head as he sat in the chair, which had special significance to me, for I had once taken a photo of the back of his head and it is a photo I had always treasured. I saw my maternal grandparents there and more people that I did not recognize..but I KNEW that they were members of my physical lineage..my genetic ancestors. And I knew they were there for me..radiating love.
Overwhelmed, (in a wonderful way), I returned to the chair at the table and there, across the table from me was the young man that had "driven" the car. He was smiling and simply allowing me to adjust and understand where I was. There was no sense of time in any way, shape or form. Everything seemed to be happening NOW.
I looked at him, and spoke telepathically I guess, " I am dead, aren't I?" (Even though I knew I was not dead, but still fully alive). And he said " Yes you are". It was as if I had to say it to someone and hear the answer, like that confirmation was a step that had to be taken. It was as if saying the word dead, and saying it as a truth, was a releasing of the ego's concept, the singular "I", that is experienced while you are in the physical body. I felt a releasing of the body and everything about it. I was ok with being "dead" for I have never been afraid of "it", or worried about "it" at all. And yet, in that moment really digesting what was happening realized the BIGNESS of the moment. It is really hard to put into words what I was feeling or KNOWING.
As soon as that energy was established, my thoughts or awareness went to the ones I loved that were still in the body. I was insistent on getting to them, communicating with them or somehow letting them know that I was ok.. that I was more than ok. He immediately KNEW this and said, "Everyone is alright..and remember in their "time" you have been gone for 3 months." Well that was a mind blower, for I still had an awareness of the amount of "time" that was and yet where I was, there was no time at all. And I reflected on what had transpired..my arrival, the houses, the car, the house with my relatives, all of this happened in the space of what on earth was 3 months…. A huge thought, or was I even thinking? Was I simply knowing everything now?
He reassured me that he would assist me in the communication when it was appropriate. And I felt relieved, and so grateful that he understood this and how important it was to me.
I then looked at him once more and said to him" I know that I know you- who are you?" and with that I had an inner vision…a memory recall. When I was around 12 years old, my mother took me with her to visit one of her friends that she worked with. This friend had a beautiful baby boy, who was about 10 months old. I remembered the lovely day, spent in the yard, in her pool and holding this beautiful baby. Shortly after that visit, the baby was killed, as an automobile crashed into the stroller he was in. With this recall, I looked at him and he shook his head yes. He then said or communicated this--" There is a connection with and between everyone you ever meet, even if for a second of time." It was such a simple and yet profound statement and I still feel the depth of it.
I inquired why he was the one to "meet" me and he said, "because I am the perfect choice." And with that he smiled, and picked up the book that was there on the table. He opened it up, and held it upright before me so that I could see the pages. To my eyes, they all appeared to be blank white sheets, but I FELT WORDS. And as I felt that energy, my eyes were drawn to his face, above and in back of the book and he smiled with so much love, winked at me, with his right eye and I was then suddenly aware of being in bed in my home.
As I lay there, I KNEW that I had been given the gift of the recall I had asked for. I KNEW that it had happened during the second heart stopping time. And I KNEW that I would never be the same again. In the days and weeks that followed I also understood and KNEW that between each episode, I had lived and completed a particular life contract or agreement. My heart doctor told me that during the recorded episode..my heart stopped for a time, I had one heart beat and it stopped again. I KNEW that in that one heartbeat, I had finished a life contract. What it was or what any of them were, that transpired so quickly within 9 days, I have no idea. If I ever know I will let you know..SMILE. Integrating and living these experience's is an on-going adventure, which I will continue to share with you.
And, as these episodes occurred while I was by myself, it obviously was not time for me to leave..or I would have. God --the Grace that is God--restarted my heart each time.
But the biggest knowing I returned with was this simple truth…Love that is shared, if even for moment, is everything. While I was "there", none of the things of this physical world even occurred to me or crossed my mind at all. My awareness was of Love..all encompassing, unconditional LOVE that permeated and was, everything I saw, including my relatives.
I returned, with numerous veils removed and a renewed vision of life, deeply understanding that the beautiful sunsets and the vast oceans and all those things that I love in this physical world ..they are Creator existing in a certain form, vibrating and holding a blueprint. The things that make me happy, no matter how nebulous it may seem, like the cool breeze on a summer evening, is God itself sharing Love with me. My feeling of love or peace and gratitude, upon experiencing the beautiful sunset or the warm hug with a beloved one, is me, sharing love with God. No wonder there are so many different colors and types of music in this world, for as beautifully diverse as we all are, we all share one thing. God created for each one, all the expressions of itself, that would make hearts sing with joy. My relationship with life itself has changed and in a very blessed way.
I have come to understand or again just KNOW that when we experience these "near death" experiences, because we are returning to the body, this is a glance into the glory and love that God is. When the moment arrives that we completely detach from the physical form, the love and peace will be so so much more than what we were graced to experience. In truth we really don't know what life is when we are completely removed from this physical form. We will know when we are in that state of being.
The Complete totality that is God is incomprehensible, while we are attached to this physical form. It certainly seems that the mind and the ego, because they are concerned with the physical life, are our stumbling blocks in many ways. But as we stumble, we also get up and start anew, each time hopefully releasing the attachments and desires for earthly pleasure.
This glance changes our physical lives and in the greater scheme of Gods existence, that is what was intended. For a purpose greater than we know, guides and facilitates each one's every moment..every breath.
No matter how it happens for each of us, when we truly experience God, we are forever changed. That moment of self-realization is all that is. In a very quiet way, in ONE moment, we are free.
GOD IS LOVE >><< LOVE IS GOD.
LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS >><< MATTER IS ALL LOVE
Blessings and Peace..Christine